17 Bottles Of: 2004

12.19.2004

Oh. My. God.

If you ever suspected that this area was bad for dating.....

So I'm home now and I thought that I would see what guys were within 50 miles of Rudolph on OkCupid, a dating site that is set up a lot like friendster and orkut so its not so much like "a dating site." I put in the information and clicked "Go" and I got this....

(the image is linked to his profile)

12.14.2004

It is the 14th, my last day of classes for the semester. I finished my reference class, will probably get an A- if all goes well. Tonight, we hand in our Information Architecture project and we will probably again get an A-, presuming nothing catastrophic happens. Last night I turned in my 20 page, 1.5 space paper (thats 20 pages not counting references or bibliography - actually, it extended onto the 21st page without the footnotes) research paper on the Bureau of Indian Affairs. I did that paper in the course of about two weeks and it turned out to be the longest paper I have ever written (see this LJ entry for a quick preview of the paper). I have two and a half pages of references. And I'll probably get an A- for the class.

Its the longest paper I ever wrote, its just a factual report about the BIA but its well done, well researched and yet... I feel no sense of accomplishment. Maybe its because I turned it in by just copying the file to my teacher's digital inbox? I guess there is satisfaction in printing a report like that, taking it to the heavy duty stapler and handing it in.

This afternoon I have to finish some random things on this mock-up for my Access Systems for Archival Materials class, for which I will probably also get an A- or maybe a B+. The teacher wants the navigation on the left. Guess what? I can't do that, and furthermore, I LIKE the navigation on the right. And you know what? The headings for the sections do not cross the little border between the right navigation and the body, and that dotted line is the border. There is something to be said for usability, but sometimes, I think we coddle the user a little too much. In my reference class, we never mention usability, in fact, we are asked to be able to navigate totally unusable systems. and in GovDocs - have you ever tried to use the search mechanism on a government website? Try it sometime, you never find what you search for. I was on the GPO Access site looking for the Declaration of Independence - the first document created by the U.S. Government - and I couldn't find it. I ended up going to Thomas. But how sad is it when you can't find the fucking Declaration of Independence on the main site to go to for government documents on the web? And Lexis Nexis search results? They're fine if you know what you want and you only get two or three results from a search, but what if you have less information? What if you don't have good search skills? Browsing Lexis Nexis search results? No thanks.

But really, I'm sick of it all. I can't think of a single thing that would make me happy today. My room is dirty, my clothes are unwashed, I have no milk and I'm on the rag. I don't even have the desire to *be* suicidal, I think I just want to sit and stare at things all day.

12.06.2004

As I walked through the sports complex today, I noticed a group of teenagers -- probably fifteen, sixteen years old -- sitting on the steps by the main entrance. They all had wet hair, so I assume they'd been in the pool...swim team practice or something. Anwyay, they were laughing and talking, and a few of them were flirting and/or holding hands. They were waiting for their parents to pick them up, I suppose, or they were just hanging out before driving themselves home to eat dinner with the family and do their homework. Something like that.

It made me think about all of the times that I did that. Waiting for rides after debate tournaments, hanging out after school waiting for the parking lot to clear...I spent a lot of time sitting around in a big group just waiting to go home. I don't think I've ever thought about it until today, but when I saw those kids I instantly remembered what waiting for a ride felt like. Those fifteen minutes of sitting at the lunch table waiting, or sitting in a booth at Taco John's waiting, were - on many occasions - the best fifteen minutes of the day. Maybe that says something about how pathetic my life was, but maybe it doesn't.

Waiting for a ride was always pretty intense, in an understated sort of way. It was a big rush to cram in a day's worth of gossiping or holding hands or teasing one another or - most often - a combination of all those things. We had a lot of fun doing absolutely nothing, and...it was great. I'm fairly certain that I didn't ever step outside of it and say, "Wow. I love loitering. That's the best!" We never appreciate what we have while we have it. I'm learning.

Simple things. That's what I miss the most, sometimes. There aren't any simple things anymore. None. Never again.

12.01.2004

You scored as Pissed at the World Cat. And here we have the next serial killer. Try having some cotton candy, it'll make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, Psycho.

Pissed at the World Cat

50%

Derranged Cat

33%

Ninja Cat

25%

Drunk Cat

25%

Nerd Cat

25%

Couch Potato Cat

Love Machine Cat

Which Absurd Cat are you?
created with QuizFarm.

Well, as long as the cat is aiming for some musicians it's all good. Tell me again how high you were when you wrote that song, because I love hearing all about that shit.

You scored as Love Machine Cat. Look out! The love machine is on the loose. You might want to take off a night of permiscuity and go get your junk checked out. Nothing sadder than a cat with herpes.

Love Machine Cat

83%

Derranged Cat

67%

Pissed at the World Cat

58%

Couch Potato Cat

50%

Drunk Cat

42%

Ninja Cat

Nerd Cat

Which Absurd Cat are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

I don't have herpes...... mono, yes, herpes no

11.28.2004

Amanda Senn wants to play "high school scavenger hunt" over winter break. I'm in, even though it requires bar hopping in Rapids. I'll be the driver. That's fine. Here's how the game works (approximately - I can't remember the exact point totals she gave me):

25 points for each high school classmate you talk to
50 points if the person has grown a mullet since high school
100 points if the person appears to have gained 50 pounds or more
150 points if the person has a spouse
200 points if the person has a baby
250 points if the person brought the baby to the bar

I wonder if there's a combination system. What if the person has a mullet and a baby? If there are two babies and one is at the bar, is it 450 points? Hmm. I'll have to ask.

I'm going to lose, but that's OK. I'm excited anyway. I can't wait to see wastered Amanda Senn talking to hicks with mullets. (Hey...what if the BABIES have mullets?)

11.27.2004

I actually just read some comments from sig and erica on my LJ and wasn't sure they would see my response. To bring everyone up to speed, I was pissy because I got rejected by a boy probably because I didn't live up to his physical expectations (and he's probably gay), cried about it to my counselor, then went to work and saw a guy with a shirt proclaiming that he liked skinny chicks or something. Here we go:

Erica: It was an undergrad, one of the mincing ones that flood the gov docs center and talk about inane crap all the time, I wouldn't want him even without the shirt. Honestly, I think there enough airheaded skinny bitches out there that won't care that he is a selfish asshole, these are the kind of women that agree to have vaginal reconstructive surgery because their husbands complain of less sexual satisfaction after their wives give birth (remember). He'll get laid, he'll get married and be an asshole all his life, maybe someday reality will kick him in the balls. It would be nice if reality's name began with an Urs and ended with an ula Arnold. Anyway, I know I'm way too smart for that kind of crap, it doesn't mean that I still don't find myself stepping in it from time to time. And with the way I am, I probably step in it more than most women that put themselves out there.

Sig: I do feel confident. Sometimes it gets to me that I seem to have to initiate everything, but then I think about the fact that I don't always have to initiate things. But I've always been confident, I just didn't know how to put myself out there. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm TOO confident sometimes, and I realize that I was going after the wrong guys for some reason.

But don't worry about me getting guys - my roommate Dave comments on all my "gentleman callers," not being able to kiss until Feb feels like an eternity, and after a three year hiatus, I managed to make out with 11 boys in three months, which is why I have mono.

11.19.2004

Wow, Alec reads this blog now. I thought you didn't read blogs, Alexander Banning Sonsteby :P I wonder if any of the other Null Set boys read this blog?

11.18.2004

I have mono, it sucks

In other news, I think the boy that I really like (James) also likes me - and apparently, he is a pretty hot commodity in our mostly female school, so.... ::I win!::

11.17.2004

Don't they look happy? Why can't Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham just love each other? I supopse there are a million reasons: Lindsey was a controlling freak who treated Stevie like shit. Stevie fucked around with Mick Fleetwood and a million other rock-n-roll men (among them Don Henley and Tom Petty). Lindsey's married now and has a couple of kids. Stevie and Lindsey didn't talk to one another for over a decade - he even publicly declared how much he hated her.

But now they're friends again. I swear, there's has to be something going on with those two. All but four or five of the eighteen tracks on "Say You Will,"Fleetwood Mac's newest album, are about relationships that sound suspiciously like the legendary Stevie-Lindsey love affair. (Check out the song lyrics.) On the VH1 Destiny Rules special, Lindsey mentioned that it can be really hard to sing the songs Stevie wrote about him, and Stevie said that she's still writing about Lindsey 25 years after the big breakup. Right. And there's nothing between them.

A sample of the lyrics:

He fell for her again, she watched it happen
Every day, day by day
But more important, night by night
She watched it all come into play
He held her hands, she listened to what he had to say
Thrown down like a barricade
Maybe now he could prove to her
That he could be good for her
And they should be together

Stevie says that she wrote that song about Lindsey right after the Dance tour, the big reunion that came decades after Lindsey left the band. Anyway. That's the song Lindsey was referring to when he said it's hard to sing about himself. I wonder what went on in their hotel rooms after the shows? Gee, how convenient that he wasn't married yet. And here's a sampling of Lindsey's lyrics:

I let you slip away
There was nothing I could do
That was so long ago
Still I often think of you
I fall down, I get up
And I've always had to fight
Everything that was wrong
For the things that were right
Now I finally found my way
Now I know just what to do
Once you said goodbye to me
Now I say goodbye to you

(And, is it a coincidence that the track immediately following this one is called "Goodbye Baby" and is written by Stevie?)

I'm not quite sure why I care whether or not those two are involved; I don't know why I give it thought every now and again. I guess Stevie and Lindsey are just one of those legendary couples. It's like...if there's something between them, even if it's not public or even official, then maybe there's hope for the rest of the world. And not just romantic hope - I mean hope in general. If something as irreconcilable as Lindsey and Stevie can survive in some small way, then maybe we, with our ordinary failures and shortcomings, can survive too. Not that a love affair could actually impact reality - but it could impact a person's perception of reality. Bringing hope, in other words.

Maybe I've been in Alaska for too long. I think all this darkness is starting to get to me.

Strangest line from the album? "Think of me, sweet darling, every time you don't come." -Lindsey

11.08.2004

I had a very weird dream last night. Here's the synopsis:

For some reason, I was with Lauren's family in a hotel at Disney Land. It was a huge suite with two bedrooms. One bedroom had two queen-sized beds, and the other room had a king-size bed. Lauren's parents made me, Eric, and Lauren sleep in one of the queen beds, and they slept in the other. For some reason, they insisted that all five of us sleep in the same bedroom. Maybe they were worried that I'd rape their children; after all - I do have the right genitals for BOTH of them. :) Eric, Lauren, and I were all squished into one bed. I was in the middle, and Eric - who somehow managed to fall asleep even though it was very uncomfortable - elbowed me every time he rolled over, which was often. And Lauren, who was still awake, kicked me just because she was bored. I kicked her back, and we ended up having a fight. (The fun kind, not the kind where we tried to kill each other.) One of us accidentially kicked Eric, so he woke up and also started fighting. We got kind of loud, which woke the parents. Lauren's mom was so mad about us waking her up that she threatened not to take us to Disney Land the next day. Eric proposed that she let us go in the other room, because then we wouldn't wake anybody up, but she wouldn't let us. So, we all behaved and went to sleep because we wanted to go on the rides at Disney.

Weird, huh? I don't even want to know where that came from.

In my dream, Eric still had his army hair. Lauren, does Eric still have army hair?

Which internet subculture do I belong to? [CLICK]
	You are a Trekkie!
It's a geek, Jim! You probably have a starfleet uniform and a tricorder. Bonus points if you speak klingon. One day you will walk down the aisle with your buttertroll trekkie partner, humming to the Yoyager theme.
More Quizzes at Go-Quiz.com

I think this is fairly accurate ;)

11.07.2004

Not so accurate, not so fun. Why do we do these things?

How to make a Sig!

Ingredients:

3 parts mercy

1 part courage

3 parts ego

Method:
Blend at a low speed for 30 seconds. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

11.05.2004

You are .pdf No matter where you go you look the same. You are an acrobat. Nothing is more important to you than the printed word.

Which File Extension are You?

A former friend took this quiz and her result was .gif, "you are sometimes animated, but mostly you sit there and look pretty." From what I know about her, its TOTALLY accurate, but then again, she is a former friend.

I am guessing acrobat means social acrobat, which is accurate, I fit in with anyone from preps to goths, yet it says that I look the same where ever I go, which is weird. Its a fun quiz and there are a lot of results.

10.29.2004

I listen to Michigan Public Radio at my internship, its great. Today is something "Science Friday" and there was the leader somebody "discovered a new species of tiny humans." My imagination went wild - tiny humans? How tiny? When I told my friend Mike, he suggested Hobbits, and then asked if they were people like our friend Cari, who is about 4'11.75" - I was very amused. But my imagination was busy creating the idea of tiny civilizations living under the sea, building tiny houses and coffee shops with tiny freeways and pizza delivery places. I imagine them tilling tiny feilds of tiny grain, and for a while, I was very excited that there were really tiny people discovered*.

But then my dreams were dashed - the tiny people lived 13,000 years ago (though modern humans came about 100,000 years ago so that is pretty recent) and they were about 3 feet tall. Thats pretty big, I was expecting them to be so small that they would fit in your hand. Now this discovery is still pretty exciting, but not nearly as exciting as my idea of "tiny humans." In reality, I think the tiny people really discovered may turn out to be a hoax.

*I know all that is not possible, but its still fun to think about

10.28.2004

Because on the ONLY day I can sleep in I CAN'T sleep so I'm taking stupid retarded quizzes like this one!

Vandalism

I'm an artist screaming to get out of the under
appreciated hole!

What Less Than Legal Act are YOU? (includes pictures)
brought to you by

10.25.2004

Just for the record, vampires are not romantic. I thought I should clarify this because many people seem to be under the misconception that vampires are romantic. First of all, they are undead, and the undead are not romantic. Secondly, they drink blood. Do we consider ticks and mosquitoes romantic? No. Would we consider undead ticks and mosquitoes romantic? No. Vampires are really just extra-large, economy-sized parasites. I'm afraid that parasites really aren't romantic. So take off that black nail polish, put down Vampire: The Teenage Angst and move out of your parent's basement.

P.S. Vampires aren't real.

10.24.2004

Did anyone else happen to catch that the "University of Northern Wisconsin at Stevens Point" was featured on Saturday Night Live tonight? I was kind of amused.

Not quite as amused as when Ashlee Simpson's band played the wrong song and they had to cut to commercial super quick, but...you know.

10.23.2004

I'm in mini crisis mode right now..... I find myself dating a 32 year old mechanic with no real direction in his life and I'm having a hard time convincing myself to break it off - I think I just need some encouragement, so ::help::

10.17.2004

I overheard a pretty interesting conversation in the cafeteria today. A group of Jesus Krispies at the table next to me were talking about sex. It was pretty clear that none of them had ever experienced sex; it was pretty funny listening to their awkward speculations. It was obvious that they were two couples - two guys, two girls, both couples holding hands and eating with their free arms. It was very bizarre.

But I digress.

They got to be talking about birth control during this sex conversation. This is where things got really interesting. The girls both claimed that birth control was the sole responsibility of the woman, because she was the one who would have to deal with the consequences. The GUYS said that it was ALSO the male's responsibility because, as one of the boy Krispies put it, "It takes two to tango, you know." The girls claimed that it was the woman's fault if she ended up pregnant, as though the male had nothing to do with it. As one of the girls said, "She CHOSE to have sex, so it's her fault." (Right...because the guy DIDN'T choose?) Her boyfriend countered with, "But the guy may have tempted her, so it might be his fault too." Shouldn't the girls WANT the guys to take responsiblity?

It was very fucked up. I've never heard anything quite like it.

And now, today's Moose Hanging From Power Line by Antlers story... Yeah. This is where I live now.

10.12.2004

Permanent links for Sig, Erica, Lisa and Lauren's blogs exist on my blog: http://ursalicious.blogspot.com. Mine and those blogs are also permanently linked from Sig's blog: http://sig.blogspot.com. Thats in case you are at a new machine and want easy access to them without remembering, it will probably also push them up in Google ranks.

10.11.2004

I had the joy of being a debate judge on Saturday - it was the Appleton tournament and Mrs. Tritz was as sweet and energetic as always. I guess she got the board to up the pay, so I raked in a sweet $60 (hey, that's 10 hours of K-Mart compared to 4 hours of controlling the fates of tiny Novice debate geeks-in-training) :)

Anyways, a good time was had by all. Although I wanted to kill the last group that I judged, if not for killing me with boredom than for (the neg side) arguing (weakly) that rape/honor killings as an integral part of culture are not human rights violations that need intervention.. and the affs for being so horrible that I had to award the round to the negs whom I so despised. Ack.

10.10.2004

Hmm...I'm helping Jillian to find just the right term for "protitute" for an essay that she's writing. I've realized that there are a TON of labels for female prostitutes:

harlot
floozy
lady of the evening
scarlet woman
strumpet
hooker
whore
fallen woman
tramp
scheherezadian woman
debauched woman
slut
loose woman
tart
working girl
street walker
trollop
lecherous woman
call girl
painted lady

Umm...if you can think of more, add them to the list. It's kind of a fun game to play.

Question: Why is "gigolo" the only word I'm able to come up with for a male prostitute? Does it seem wrong to anyone else that I can list a ton of derogatory synonyms that apply to women, but only one that applies to men? As Lauren might say..."Grrrr."

10.09.2004

Just wanted to let you guys know that I also started my own blog. Mostly for my teaching stuff, I'm sure you all get sick of hearing about things :) Check it out here!

Jacob found this great Bush bashing video and has it linked on his webpage.

Monday I start teaching full time - I taught everything but math class up until now, exciting stuff! We have a day off Friday - at least from the kids - but it's parent teacher conferences Thursday night & Friday so we still get to hang out at school! I'm a little nervous, but I'm sure it'll all be fine!

I have a lot of gossip to share about my torrid but very disappointing life right now.... (so ask me - you'll probably feel better about your own life...)

all I can say is that I really hope that cute nuclear engineer calls me this weekend

Note: I did get to see the notorius "Cock-Blocker Brenden" and I internet stalked him and know his contact info. I won't be contacting him though, but he is so adorable! Like a puppy :]

10.07.2004

Ever wonder what it would be like to go to Stanford? or Columbia? or the University of Michigan?

It sucks. I am infinitly glad that I came here as an undergrad and was able to experience a university that didn't boast the best of everything. People at SCSU were farm kids, kids from small towns, with moderate incomes and average lives. 56% of all UMich undergrads came from homes that made over $100,000 a year, and it shows. These kids lead pampered lives and they will be getting a degree from a good university, so they may lead pampered lives forever. Some of them will never live in the real world; even doing a stint in the peace corps won't change them. This wouldn't be such an annoyance to me if it wasn't for the fact that they will be the ones shaping policy though their opinions and actions in later years. They are the classic case of "born on second, thought they got a double"

And maybe some of them will face hardship, but most won't. Most will be rich assholes forever and never deal with the consequences their lives have on the rest of us. And they will never be thankful, and they will think they are better than other people. They will think, even if they do come to appreciate everything they have, that they deserved it. They deserved to be born rich, to educated parents. I hate these people, and until I can re-construct my old facade that blocked them out, I hate this place.

There were actually women scientists back in the day, but mostly they got the shaft. Take Maud Menton, the woman who discovered enzyme kinetics in 1913 as an example. She and a man named Leonor Michaelis were studying enzyme activity and while she was the one who came up with the formula for enzyme kinetics and figured out how to graph enzyme activity, he was the primary author on the paper. We know this because she was meticulous about keeping notes while he was a slob. Then there are Watson and Crick, the men who first postulated that the structure of DNA is a double helix. Except that there was a woman in their lab who happened to think of it first. Rosalyn Frankalin mentioned in a lab meeting that she thought DNA might be a double helix based on her studies using x-rays, and then all her notebooks happened to disappear. Unfortunately, she died before anybody could be awarded a Nobel Prize. She is starting to receive more credit now that Watson (or is it Crick?) is dead. Our professor likes to stress these points in class, and I'm glad.

10.02.2004

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10.01.2004

Response to Erica & Sig about hippies

Of course there are the hippies that just get stoned and lounge around, but then there are the hippies that have the blond dreads, wear the '60s style clothes and pass out leaflets about the horrors of genetic engineering, pesticides, animal testing (of any kind, for any reason) - the only reason they don't touch stem-cell research is that its too closely tied with the abortion debate. There are some scary hippies out there that think that we shouldn't do any kind of research or science affecting mother nature. And its not just straight-up hippies, a lot of the literature I read against things like genetically engineered foods came from a class that Brian Schreier took. I think the term "hippy" might not be the right term, or it has different meanings for different people. I used to fall close to the hippy-sub-section of counter-culture, (but I'm erring closer to goth these days) but I never considered myself a hippy - I think its just a catch-all term for people that don't fall into goth, indie, punk or raver but are still considered counter-culture

Comments on Debate commentary

So this morning I got up pretty early and decided to check out my friends list on LJ. I took the bush_sucks community off my friends page because its just TOO well used but I still have thedailyshow community there. The instant verdict I got on last night's debate was that Bush "got his ass handed to him on a platter." I read the posts I hadn't read and then went over to bush_sucks. There was a comment on the conspicuous silence on the pro-bush communities last night and a lot of commentary about the debates. I didn't read most of it because I know that what really matters is what the big commentators say about it. Unanimous American opinion might be that Bush got served, but if a few networks say that he did a good job, American opinion will change. My best example of the power of the media is the constant claim that Kerry "hasn't taken a position" on Iraq and a few other things. Thats simply not true, but truth doesn't really matter anymore, Kerry could take out a full page ad in the NY Times and a few other papers articulating his position and they would still be using that lame line that he hasn't taken a position. Its sickening.

On the other hand, if they do point out Kerry's victory, it scares me to see what will happen with the next debates. Frankly, I won't be relaxed until Nov.3 when the campaigning is over.

9.30.2004

A half-assed response for Erica:

I meant to respond to your email, I really did. Unfortunately for you, I read it while taking a brief study break so I didn't really have the time to formulate any lengthy response. Sorry.

I was just going to defend hippies a little. As you know, my sister is one of the biggest and dirtiest (metaphorically) hippies on this planet, but she's not crazy. Well...she's not crazy about biology. She DOES wear sandals in the winter, which is crazy, but mostly, she and her big dirty hippie friends are mentally sound. My point is that one can be a hippy and not hate science. Of course, you know this.

I think you're getting all worked up over nothing. The majority of Bob Marley-lovin', Birkenstock-wearin', organic foods-eatin' hippies don't give a shit about what you biology people do in your labs as long as it doesn't infringe upon their ability to tie-dye their t-shirts and and smoke some high quality nugs. Let's face it...as a group, hippies are lazy as hell. (At least, the hippies I know are lazy as hell.) Hating biology takes effort, and most hippies just don't have the energy for many things beoyond making hemp necklaces and protesting for the legalization of marijuana. The few hippies who have gone on a crusade against biology are not going to affect your life. Really. :)

9.27.2004

Hey Lisa, would you totally dig it if I made a little insect/arthropod collection for you so you can show it to your children once you get a permanent teaching position? We were talking about making a bunch for the local schools and I thought you might like one.

9.24.2004

How does one write a research proposal? I mean, I sort of know. But this is a proposal for my Master's Thesis. That's huge. My advisor was like "Here are papers to read. Now go write shit." Obviously he didn't say it in those words, but those were basically my instructions. At least I know what project I'm doing. One of the other new grad students doesn't even have an idea for a thesis yet, I think. Damn.

9.23.2004

Brought to you by cranberryzero.

I thought that those of us who menstruate might be amused.

9.21.2004

My figure skating insructor: "Don't those bracelets have dirty meanings behind them?"
Me: "You know...I've heard that, but I've been wearing these things for six years. That's a long time before that got started."
Skating instructor: "Well, I heard it on the news."

So what? Because she heard some nonesense the news, I'm giving blow jobs to every horny 16-year-old who can steal my bracelets? Ummmm...no.

Oh yeah... I'm taking skating again. It's kicking my ass. Not participating in a sport for seven years and then suddenly becoming an athelete again doesn't go over so well with the muscles.

9.17.2004

Nathan N*ze and John H*nry have discovered an error in Molly McGrath's official Miss America bio. Miss Wisconsin is claiming that she was the valedictorian of Lincoln High School's graduating class of 2000. There are several problems with this claim:

1. As we all recall, LHS doesn't bestow the "valedictorian" title upon anyone. Yes, anyone with a 4.0 GPA (or higher) gets to deliver a line or two of the commencement speech, but being invited to speak does not make one a valedictorian.

2. John and Nathan graduated with the number one and two ranks in the LHS class of 2000, respectively, meaning that even if LHS did name a valedictorian, it would not have been Molly; it would have been John H*nry, with Nathan as salutatorian and Molly with no title whatsoever.

Therefore, Nathan and John have taken it upon themselves - as they should - to correct the error. They wrote a lovely and informative letter, which was faxed to the Miss America headquarters and Madison's local newspapers this morning. I've been told that the boys are currently debating whether or not to send it to the Daily Tribune as well, as Molly is representing the Madison area and not the Wisconsin Rapids area. (Wasn't she Miss Wisconsin Rapids once, though? Or am I on smack?)

* * *

I've always wondered why all of the Miss America girls look so plastic. I wondered if they'd always looked that way, or it was something that just happened to them. I think this has taken away the mystery. I wouldn't have recognized that person as someone I went to high school with. (Jillian's reaction to the photo was, "That's not Molly! That's a 40 year old weather lady! Send it to Andy!!!")

So...here's my burning, Miss-America-related question: Why didn't big hair ever go out of style on the pageant circuit? And this is Nathan's question: What is the name of the song they sing for the winner? Any assistance that any of you could provide in these matter would be greatly appreciated.

OH YEAH! I got 100% on my biochem quiz! Maybe I'm not a monumental failure at chemistry after all.

9.16.2004

Funny thing. I went out for pizza after my class today. The girls I was with were both from California. As we were walking through a parking lot, they were mystified by the fact that the cars all had plugs hanging out of them.

Leslie: "Why do all these cars have plugs?"
Me: "Because it gets COLD up here."
Erica: "So?"
Me: "So...you have to plug your car in so it'll start in the morning."
Erica: "Is that why it took a couple tries to get my car started today? Am I supposed to be plugging it in at night?"

Funny. The low temperature last night was 36. No. The car doesn't need to be plugged in yet. :) But how do I explain this to people? I don't know anything about cars, so it's not like I can explain the mechanics to them. I just know that when it's below zero, my dad plugs in the car... Anyway, I love that these girls didn't even know that cars COULD be plugged in. :)

9.15.2004

Lisa, it occured to me today in my Access Systems and Archives course that you have a large group of young minds that may not know about archives. Along with a bug lecture from Erica, I was wondering if your interested in having your students learn about archives and things. Maybe they are too young, but I know that I did not learn what archives even were until late high school (and mentioned this in class and become the poster child for a youth that did not learn about archives). Kids already learn about libraries and things but archives are scary to them.

I think its largly psychological really. Librarians have always been more social people whereas archivists tend to want to be left alone. Most people that want to spend their time with must old documents are also anti-social. Because of that, archivists are bad at doing outreach. So, Lisa, even if *I* don't do anything with the kids in your school, I am encouraging you to bring the idea of introducing students to archives (not just museums) up at some kind of meeting at your school in the future. I'm not sure how much sense I am making right now, but let me know your thoughts.

I think I totally rocked my biochemistry quiz today and I feel like I should get 100% on it. Not that I will, however. All we had to do was draw the correct ionization of an oligopeptide at pH 6.0, and it was only 4 amino acid residues in length. It was so easy and I'm confident about my answer, but that means nothing. This class plays serious mind games with me. I feel like I understand things but then it turns out that I don't and I'm actually completely fucked. The first test is next Wednesday, so we'll see how that goes. That will be the true measure of how badly I'm being fucked up the asspipe.

9.14.2004

Today I took some pictures of my classroom with my phone - if you want to see them go here. There's only 1 with kids in the room, but trust me after today the best time to be in the room was when the kids were out of it!

I also took a picture of my Star of the Week bulletin board that I made just to show you guys are on it :) Right above the Mrs. Graf name tag! Well, not all of us, but the girlz except Erica - it was from your wedding. I also have the one from high school when we were in my back yard on the trampolene - the black and white one - but it's lost in the glare of the picture!

Today was one of those days that made me wonder if I really wanted to be a teacher. Sometimes kids can be tough and this super hot weather doesn't help matters at all! I decided tonight I'm just going to relax cuz if I don't, I think tomorrow I'll go insane if I see one more kid pick their nose and eat their snot or one more pile of barf or deal with unmotivated kids or kids that you just want to take home because things are so bad for them. Today was overwhelmingly terrible - no one listened or behaved in general and I guess the only consoloation to the whole matter is that they didn't listen to my cooperating teacher, either; so it wasn't just me!

Everyone from the Greater Wisconsin Rapids Metro Area: Click here, and look at slide 20. Read the caption.

It's not every day that Kellner, Rudolph, and the Daily Tribune get national attention, all in one photo.

(Thanks to J. Andrew Brabender IV for bringing this to my attention.)

GIRLZ! I have some huge gossip regarding my life and am bursting with the need to talk about it at length! IM me!

9.13.2004

Erica - I thought of you as I drove home from school today! I was behind this Wil-Kill Pest Control truck and the license plate read I H8 BUGS. I tried taking this picture with my cell phone, but it's not the greatest! I thought you'd get a kick out of it - even though you are all about bugs!
You would love my students! After EVERY recess it never fails that I get a few grasshoppers or moths or ants or any other kind of bug they find outside! Finally, I told them that those bugs live outside and when you bring them in they don't have what they need to live so we should leave the bugs outside :)

You should all play City of Heroes because it rocks. It's a massively multiplayer online role playing game where you get to be a super hero and fight crime. If any of you already play let me know and we can team up. Also the World of Warcraft MMORPG comes out soon, which creates a problem because I don't really have time to play video games anymore. Speaking of time, it's time to learn shit.

9.11.2004

I couldn't remember if Lisa's birthday was the 10th or the 11th. I'm an asshole. Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA!

In other news, we had the first seminar of the semester yesterday afternoon. We got coffee and cookies and sat in a small room for an hour listening to a guy from the MU IPM extention. MU is the University of Missouri and IPM is integrated pest management. People who work in IPM are basically trying to find ways to not use pesticides as much and then trying to get people to use those alternate methods. It was actually a fairly interesting presentation.

Merry Patriot Day, everyone! And far more importantly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA!!!

I just realized, right at this moment, that we both have patriotic, America-friendly, flag-totin' birthdays. It's weird, though, because mine has ALWAYS been that way and yours...hasn't. How does it feel to suddenly be overshadowed by the Stars & Stripes? (The best part about having a birthday like July 4 or September 11 is that people are REQUIRED to remember it. They're assholes if they don't.)

In any case...I win. I get fireworks. :)

9.09.2004

I've sort of been adopted by a group of guys...but not by choice. I go to the cafeteria every day, and every day I sit at a table by myself and read a book while I eat. And almost every day, these same guys show up about half way through my meal and basically force me into joining them at their table. Their names are Jon, John, Geoff, and Jeff. (Confusing, I know. Even more confusing: Jon and Geoff are roommates, and so are John and Jeff. John and Jeff live directly below me, and Jon and Geoff live next door. Oh...and Jon is the AIDS comment guy of several posts ago.)

TI feel as though I knew these guys, once upon a time and long, long ago. It's an odd, creepy feeling...because being with them is often like listening to offensive Steve Z*nder-Dan Austin conversations, crossed with quick, witty John Henry-Nathan Thomas banter. (It doesn't help that John - the Alaskan John - could be Nathan Thomas's blond, better-dressed twin. They have the same jaw, the same mouths, the same teeth, the same build, the same height, similar facial expressions...it's unsettling.) Whenever I eat with these guys, it's as though I've been transported back to the high school lunch table, but in an alternate universe.

They can't understand why I'm not traumatized by their conversations; yesterday, I got the impression that they were trying especially hard to offend me. Sorry, boys, but Staniel ruined me. I am non-shockable when it comes to verbal commentary. This group hasn't come close to topping Steve's fictional and graphic account of losing his virginity at the age of six to the elementary school janitor. (That particular monologue included a vivid description of the old janitor's wrinkly, bloody dick. I mean...it would take a lot to top that one.) (Urs, do you remember that one? ACTUALLY...now that I think about it, Steve WROTE that story in the paper-version of 17 Bottles Of during the orchestra trip to Chicago.)

Anyway...I just needed to share that with you kids. Every night at dinner I feel as though I've already lived through several alternate versions of that particular meal. Like I said - these boys have both Steve and Dan's vulgarity and John and Nathan's perfect timing and lack of hesitation - and Steve, Dan, John, and Nathan's ability to keep a straight face. It's...weird. It creeps me out.

Is the world really so small and uninteresting that it has to start recycling my past experiences already? I'm only 23 for fuck's sake! Shouldn't a lot more happen to me before it all starts to look the same?

9.03.2004

This is why I love Fark. John Henry tried to make me love Fark a long, long time ago but, of course, I resisted it back then simply because he was trying to force it on me (along with Magic cards and anime, which I still desipse). I've since seen the light. Apologies, Mr. Henry.

Anyway. This was part of a photoshop contest with the theme Photoshop a t-shirt that's a sure-fire way to get onto "The Price Is Right". This was the winning entry.

I thought you kids might enjoy a few laughs.

9.02.2004

I overheard something rather amazing today. I was leaving the cafeteria to go back to my dorm, and I had to walk through the lobby area. Students promoting various orgainzations and causes (i.e., soliciting new members) had set up a bunch of tables in the lobby, one of which was apparently devoted to an AIDS-fighting association. So. I was walking behind some guy, and he was walking past the AIDS table.

Girl at AIDS table: "Would you like to join me and Bono in the fight against AIDS?"

Guy: "I think it's wrong to kill people who have AIDS."

Girl: "Not that kind of fighting. I mean, fighting the disease, preventing it, stuff like that."

Guy: "Don't worry - I'll wear a condom when I screw your sister." And then he walked away, leaving the girl looking as though someone had clobbered her with a two-by-four. I was probably smiling.

So, props to that guy for being able to think so quickly. I wish I was that clever (perhaps not in such a sick way). Cleverness would come in handy, being a writer and all. Instead of coming up with my own repartee, I have to steal other people's lines.

So it goes, I guess. So it goes.
.
.
.
.
(See? That was me stealing Vonnegut...)

9.01.2004

I AM SO PISSED! I JUST WROTE A WHOLE FLIPPIN ENTRY AND I HIT PUBLISH AND I GOT ONE OF THOSE CANNOT FIND PAGE ERRORS! WHAT A PILE OF CRAP!

Anyways, the whole gist of it was that I am loving student teaching and I have a great class! Very original names though - Louden, Celinh'a, Axel, and tons I'm forgetting right now. Our classroom won First Puke of the Year award from the janitors! Within a half hour of class a kid puked. Apparently, he's super shy and has had problems before. I am so glad I have a bad cold already and cannot smell as I'm sure I'd have started barfing along with him! My cooperating teacher sent me to get the nurse, so that was nice of her! She was pissed cuz we only have 2 small spots in the room that have carpeting and he managed to plaster the reading rug :) The stain is right in front of the teacher chair, too! Great!

Becca stopped by last night! She was in Greece for the Olympics and decided to extend her ticket the max 30 days and hang out in Ripon for awhile! Guess who is having a kid?! Remember Erica Bach & Tyler Skorczewski? I totally butchered his name - he graduated in 00 and Erica in 99. Tyler went to Ripon for a year and he is good friends with Becca. Anyways, Erica & Tyler are having a baby around Christmas time!! Surprise Surprise!

Does anyone know of a web site or some resource I could use to teach myself Spannish? I wish I would have taken it in high school - German has been useless here! I have a few migrant kids in my class who do not speak English and neither do their parents, so a little Spannish would be helpful! Hope everyone is having has started off to a great year! Miss you all! :)

8.30.2004

MC Chris rocks my world. He does nerdcore hip-hop. Correction: I don't think he does the voice of Meat Wad, but he was featured in an episode as the voice of MC P Pants. We got the first season of Aqua Teen Hunger Force on DVD, oh baby. For those of you who don't know what nerdcore hip-hop is, here is an example:

"Plaid pajama bottoms or plaid pleated skirts
everything girls wear makes me stare at the dirt
if I had balls I'd flirt with y'all in study hall
do the geek talk till your eyes roll back into your skull
but I'm a freak, spelled f-r-double-three-k
when you're walking my way with my pockets I play
I can't say what's yer name care to chat for a bit
it's me Brian that guy from that class, Russian lit?
care to sit, have a chip, care for some fun dip
Dostoyevsky doesn't impress me what you think of that shit?
but I don't I just twich and I itch in my pants
play my Gameboy Advance until she finally walks past
a mad dash to my crib where I get on my blog
in search of Spock-dot-com check it out if you want
that's the steam blowin' scene where I reign supreme
Webster's my Friendster, I run the message board for ween
it's a mental mall for teens it's a paradise on earth
but in a way it's like a curse faster than a Google search
I just sit here and drink beer while my roommate flirts
at some party with some hottie who's all into Fred Durst
it makes my heart burst and yet I do nothing
just get on the web and start bitchin' and frontin'
a dot com curmudgeon whose love life is sufferin'
it's the rope or the oven or the hope I find love in the end.
I am a lab rat
that is a sad fact
shining my test tubes
crying in restrooms
dorm life sucks if you've noplace to go
I call my mother every day and say I want to go home." -Ratz, MC Chris

8.29.2004

Life is so unfair

I finally find an awesome guy that I like and that likes me, but he has to be 19 and, of course, has a goddamn girlfriend. I guess I'm too in the moment right now to see the other fish in the sea but since this was my first catch, maybe ever, I think I have a right to be pissed.

8.26.2004

I have to have a gigantic collection of insects for systematics next fall, so if anybody sees any really cool insects (or contracts crabs and/or head lice and/or scabies) could you maybe, possibly put them in plastic baggies and stick them in the freezer for me? I would be in your debt and love you forever and stuff. Especially those of you far away or who visit foreign lands. It will take 5 minutes and be infinitely helpful to me.

8.25.2004

I love Jeopardy and it's on reruns right now, but one of the categories tonight was "Things to do with carrots!" It's kid's week, but still :)

I'm among the Eskimos. At the moment, that's all I care to say about it. I'm tired and I'm hungry and I have a headache.

8.23.2004

I've discovered this great new show called Bullshit. It runs on Showtime, so we obviously have to rent it from the video store. Anyway, it's these two guys, Penn and Teller, who basically go around and debunk stupid shit. They have covered topics such as alien abductions, psychics, alternative medicine, and creationism, just to name a few. It's amazing how many nut-jobs there are out there who truly believe in what they do. Then there are the ones who actively prey upon people. One of the things I really appreciate about this show is how good they are at making fun of fruity wackos. They are also good, however, at pointing out bad people who prey on the weak. For example, they interviewed a psychologist who was clearly implanting false memories of alien abductions into her patients and then signing them up for more "regression therapy" and her support groups for other poor assholes who think they have alien babies. Most of it is pretty harmless, though. I mean, if you want to have a reflexologist play with your feet, that's fine as long as you don't do that instead of going to an actual doctor. It's your money. Speaking of which, for a mere $25 I can activate your DNA which will give you more energy, boost your immune system, and help you lose weight. Trust me.

I'm a skeptic. One of the things I have noticed while observing the credulous is that there are basically two varieties. The first kind are the ones who don't have the mental or educational resources to combat the bullshit. They haven't had any science past 10th grade chemistry, so when the man selling magnetic devices comes and tells them that the polarity of magnets has the ability to restore blood to it's natural pH by drawing out strong acidic impurities, that sounds pretty good. The second type is the intellectual. They have either a college education or they will have one soon. These people like to keep open minds and to accept new ideas. In fact, their minds are so open all their brains have fallen out. These are the people who think it's swell to eat only raw food and dance to drums at environmental protests. These people could probably combat the bullshit if they really wanted to, but they have other priorities such as pissing off their parents.

"That French fuck, Nostradamus." -Bullshit

This morning I realized that I have Charlotte goals for my life, Miranda sensibilities and a Samantha outlook on men

oh, and I am having a dilema not unlike Carrie in season three

8.19.2004

Boys suck

And I feel like a total loser

8.18.2004

So here is my latest drama, which is pretty tame in regards to most of my drama

So I met a boy about a month ago and told him my AIM name, he IMed me that night and we talked. Nothing much happened until last week when I asked him to sushi, he accepted and we had a great time. I told him that I have sushi once a week last week and he said something like "I think I could make that a part of my schedule."
We talked on IM all weekend but I didn't want to seem too interested so I decided to not IM him on monday. Monday night he put up the away message** "out doing something." This was still up tuesday but I had a question regarding something he might know about so I asked, no response yet, same away message up. I think he works a regulat 9-5 job in the summer (though the hours are somewhat fluid, he can come in later and stay later if he wants to or has to)

Cut to today, I was going to IM him about if he wanted to do sushi but he still has the same away message up. I talked to my friend Allison and she suggested calling him or at least emailing him. I was nervous. Then I talked to my friend Rachel and she said that I should email him. I did. While I was talking with my friend Mike, he said that I should play this like we had an actual date set up and he is standing me up. I resolved to call him once I got home. I go home, call him and not only does the phone ring for a while and not pick up, but the voice mail message is very, VERY generic, it just said the phone number and didn't even say his name. So I'm thinking "What the H, yo?" so I call Mike, Mike says that I should be pissed and I say that I don't know what the deal is right now so I don't know if I should be pissed. Basically, I just want to know if he is ok and not in jail* or if I should just move on cuz I don't know him that well. Right now, I have no idea.

* He smokes a lot of pot and just obtained a lot recently
**He has an AIM client that allows him to be away all the time but usually changes his away messages throughout the day

8.17.2004

I switched analysis of variance to biochemistry since my PI thought that would be a good basis for the molucular biology laboratory next semester and I can take ANOVA any semester. I have to say the prospect of biochemistry is more than a little scary.

MSNBC had a link to Newsweek's Kaplan College Guide article, 'America's 25 Hot Schools' and Urs' college was rated 'Hottest For Greeks with Brains.' Instead of posting the paragraph, I figured if you're interested you can read it here!

8.13.2004

Have you guys started doing things for school yet? Classes haven't started yet, but my research proposal for my Master's thesis is due at the end of the semester, so I have started reading pertinent articles. I've also been in the field helping with other projects. I have exactly one semester to go from knowing only the very basics of molecular genetics to knowing a great deal. Yesterday my advisor gave me three textbooks ( The Fundamentals of Molecular Evolution, Molecular Evolution: A Phylogenetic Approach, and one entitled Molecular Systematics) and was like "Read these, and I'll have some more articles for you next week". The classes I'll be taking are Insect Ecology and Analysis of Variance. I guess in grad school you only take a couple classes because you also have to sign up for a seminar and research credits. Things are ok now, but I predict that when I come home for Christmas you'll find me a broken, bloody mess.

8.10.2004

Sex and the City Quiz!!!

I'm 40% Miranda, 20% Carrie, 20% Charlotte, and 20% Samantha. There aren't any cute little graphics or anything for me to post on the blog, and the explanations are kind of lame, but...it's intersting nonetheless. (Lise, did you do your homework? Are you addicted yet?) So, who's surprised that I'm mostly Miranda? Not I. If you want to take the quiz, here's a link:

http://quiz.women.com/games/tests/sexandthecity.htm

8.07.2004

How did I get to be such a mean person? I've pretty awful lately, especially to someone in particular...and I'm not terribly proud of it. In fact, I feel awful about the way I've been behaving. The trouble is that I didn't initially realize that I was being such an ass. The other trouble is that it's not possible to erase the things that I've said and done in the past few days. This person will never forget all the mean, mean things I said. (The worst part is that I didn't even MEAN the mean things - I was just being mean.) It's a bad situation...and I'm a bad person. How does one make up for being an awful, awful person?

Any suggestions on how to be the most sorry ever? Any ideas on how to make up for being a big mean bitch? I don't know what to do. :(

8.06.2004

Well, we live in Missouri now. Things are a bit different here in the South. Most people claim this isn't the South and is actually the Midwest, but they are wrong. For one thing, it's fucking hotter than...than...something that's really fucking hot. People here usually don't have too much of an accent, but some speak Southern so bad I want to run away screaming. The night we got here we went to eat at a bar-b-que restaurant. For the first time ever I had deep fried corn on the cob and hot boiled peanuts. If you like your peanuts mushy good for you, but just say no to fried corn. The University of Missouri has a huge rivalry with some state university in Kansas because of something that happened in the Civil War. I shit you not.

The good part of all this is that I'm in school again. The people in the entomology department I've met so far are all really cool and have been extremely nice about helping me settle in. I'm really glad to finally be here.

8.05.2004

I think that would be called a volcano "watch" since it seems like "conditions are favorable" to produce...... volcanos........? no, eruptions, yeah. So Ankorage is under a Volcano Eruption Watch. But, I guess they have their own warning system, those darn geologists.

Color Code Key

Green-volcano is dormant; normal seismicity and fumarolic activity
Yellow-volcano is restless; eruption may occur
Orange-volcano is in eruption or eruption may occur at any time
Red-significant eruption is occurring or explosive eruption expected at any time

For some reason, I find the existence of a red category to be funny, I mean I know its important and all, but its kind of like the "oh FUCK!" warning. Anyway, the reason I decided to post:

I'm gonna be home probably the 27th through the 3rd, who will be in town then?? I know Sig won't, and I want to see her, but there are other considerations to take into account and stuff. Let me know

8.04.2004

For those of you who don't read my blog, I just felt the need to inform you that Anchorage is currently under a volcano warning, meaning that their local volcano could errupt at any time. Interesting.

http://www.avo.alaska.edu/avo4/atlas/volc/spurr/spurr2004/index.html

8.02.2004

It's the girls from the 'Virgin Suicides,' Urs. Sofia Coppolla made a movie in 1999 based on their true story.

Somehow I'm Lux, too, I figured we didn't need the same one twice :)

I had NO idea what this was, but I took the quiz anyway

Cecilia!

Also known as Saintly Cecilia you are the dreamer type. Whether you are creative or nuturing, you have an idealist quality about you.

Which Lisbon Sister Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

SCORE! Look what *I* found, Ladies....

Lux

Lux!Also known as Libertine Lux, you are the romantic
type. Whether you are precocious or acting on
your desires, you have a bold quality about
you.

Which Lisbon Sister Are You?
brought to you by

8.01.2004

The weirdest thing happened to me last night. We went to Wautoma to watch Jacob's grandpa's Community play and on our way home we stopped at the Wal-Mart in Berlin. It's the old school regular Wal-Mart. My brother is spending a few days with us, so the guys went in and I waited in the car. I was parked with the car off and just sitting there - I didn't have my lights on or anything. This redneck jerk pulls into the parking space straight across from me at like 30mph and almost hits me. I seriously grabbed the wheel like bracing myself for it. Somehow he managed to stop without hitting me. Then he flashes his brights at me a three or four times and honks his horn?! I don't get it - I was parked not moving, hadn't moved for a good 5 minutes - and he's the one that almost hit me and is freaking out?! I didn't want to get out of the car who knows what the guy was on. That was so weird, I just sat there like ok?! I think it had something to do with the full moon and the Fox River Days party in Berlin. Maybe the guy was drunk or something, I don't know.

Yesterday we bought a real kitchen table :) It'll be nice to eat together on a table rather than wherever we can find room! Yesterday, was Ripon's city wide garage sale. Jacob got up at like 7 to go out early and get some deals, I waited at home in bed :) The couple that sold us the table weren't sure they wanted to get rid of it, but luckily for $100 we got it and 5 chairs and then 2 bar stools that match. It's 4 years old but looks almost new, just 1 scratch and a water mark on one of the chairs! Not bad! Now I feel like I have a real house, kind of! Having more than a few rooms will be much better!

Jamie, Lauren, & Sig are you girls going to be free anytime between the 6th and 12th? I'll be husbandless and lonely and it'd be fun to get together! Let me know!

So, I'm looking out the patio window, and I notice that the fuckmook frat boys that live in our building littered the whole yard with beer cans in their crusade to nail underaged highschool girls. As I'm bitching under my breath about what Goldicocks they are, I notice a cop car sloooowly cruising through his usual crib, the parking lot across the street. After driving up and down all the lanes, no doubt searching for a parking felon, he parked at the end and sat there. I was thinking that it might be more productive, as well as more cost-effective, if the cops that we pay taxes to would get off their fat fucking candyasses and do some kind of neighborhood cleanup or something. That way we could kill two birds with one stone....

or two pigs, as it were.

7.31.2004

This is for Erica: :-)

http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=i_robot

7.30.2004

I will have no access to the internet during the move, so please call my cell phone if you want to communicate with me. I'm done at the Quality Inn!!!!!! God damn, but I'm nervous about grad school.

7.27.2004

*** H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y E R I C A ***

So I always get beat posting a Birthday message first, but oh well ...
Happy Birthday anyways Erica :)

Sig: How was the wedding & vacation? Hope you had fun!
Urs: How was your birthday? Hope you had a good time!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ERICA

Did your mom call and sing to you too?

On my birthday, I got a happy birthday message from my mom in the morning where she sang to me, then my dad tried to sing to me when I talked to him but he stopped half-way though. It was "Happy Birthday to us"

7.24.2004

Happy birthday to Signe, Lauren, Urs, and Jacob :)

7.20.2004

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, URSY

In other news, I was supposed to go out with Jamie tonight, enjoying 2 for 1 margaritas and singing karaoke, but she is MIA. Bitch. My guess is that she's either in Wausau sucking Big B's cock or she was abducted by probe-happy aliens. Regardless of circumstances, I feel slighted.

GIRLZ- I would love to partake of the upcoming festivities, but since it's in the Ripon/Oshkosh area, I will be unable to join you (hence my nudging for a Point/Rapids Girlz Night).. I have to work Thursday at the camps until 8-ish in the PM and at Kmart on Friday, 7:30 AM.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, URS!!!

7.18.2004

Sig, what happened to your website? I can't find it.

There's a line in "I Sing For the Things" when Stevie Nicks rasps, "I'll take off my cape for you." I've heard it hundreds of times, probably, but I've never actually thought about it until just now, when I heard it - in the sense that I noticed it and comprehended it - for the first time.

I thought something like, "I'll take off my cape for you?" What the hell kind of sexual innuendo is that? Is this woman for real? Somewhat surprisingly, I've concluded that yes, Stevie Nicks is for real. Eccentric, maybe, but real.

It almost makes me want to be her. I mean, there's actually a woman somewhere in this world wandering around in a cape, thinking nothing of it, at this very moment. I guess it's just another reason to adore her. (Secondary, of course, to her awesome/melancholy voice and her amazing use of imagery.)

So...how do you think one would go about peeing in some of those getups?

7.15.2004

The more I hear about this "I, Robot" movie, the more disappointed I am. The one good thing about this movie is that is increasing the popularity of the collection of short stories from which it takes its name. Publisher's Weekly has this to say about the book's recent rise in sales: "Few books have relied so much on a movie brand that has so little to do with its book." I'm wondering if I should punish myself by going to see this movie. On the one hand, Isaac Asimov tells great robot stories. On the other hand, the previews and reviews I've seen have almost nothing to do with the stories I've read. Can somebody please make a robot movie that isn't based on either "Pinnochio" or "Frankenstein"?

7.13.2004

Hey Girls - I'm proposing another Girlz Night at my place sometime between August 6th and the 12th. Jacob will be taking a little trip out to Denver and I'll be husbandless and wouldn't mind some company - I'll even cook for you and make you fancy drinks! Let me know and I'll put something together for everyone I promise it'll be a great time!

In other news...there's a form on Herb Kohl's website that one can fill out to send him an email that he'll probably never read. There's a drop-down menu for the subject heading. "Aesbestos" is a choice for the subject, but "Gay Rights" (or anything remotely similar) doesn't have its own heading. I selected "Civil Rights" as the closest option. Anyway.

I had a very disconcerting experience today. I wish I had been more alert when it happened so that things could have gone differently. OK. Here's what happened. I was still in bed, in the middle of some dream that I can't remember. Anyway, the phone rang and - in an uncharacteristic move - I actually got out of bed to answer it.

Me: "Hello?"
Guy with High Squeaky Voice: "Hi. Are your mom and dad around?"
Me: "No...can I take a message?"
Guy: "Well, maybe you can help. Do you know what same-sex marriage is?"
Me: "Yeah..." (This reminds me of the time the Ph.D. asked me if I knew where Oklahoma was.)
Guy: "It's sick, that's what it is."
Me: "Ummm..."
Guy: "Well, there's a vote tomorrow..." blah blah blah

The guy claims that there's a vote tomorrow in the legislature concerning the fate of same sex marriage, and he encouraged me to call Kohl and Feingold to oppose it. I was only half paying attention to him because I was stunned and still mostly asleep. Anyway, what's that all about? Shouldn't I have heard about this? Shouldn't Lauren or Aidan or Curt or SOMEONE have informed me? Either the government is very sly, or I'm very stupid, or this guy is nuts.

I'm pissed off that it didn't occur to me to say, "No, buddy, you're sick" followed by a tirade about human rights and such. I wish this guy would call my Lesbin (or Lauren). He'd get an earful. I should have given our their numbers, touting them as staunch supporters of this kind of legislation. But I was mostly asleep. So I just said "ummmmm" and let him explain for a second or two before I hung up on him without so much as a "fuck you" or a "good bye." God dammit. I always miss my opportunities.

Happy Anniversary Lisa and Jacob!

(and Dan too though I doubt he reads this)

Guess what. I went skinny-dipping and some scary psycho-killer arrived and tried to get all up in our shit...or something. All I know is, he had a sinister, evil voice, thereby making me think he was a cop, but he WASN'T, and it was SO eerie...cuz we were out in the middle of nowhere, in a very, very, very secluded place...in the woods. So. The moral of the story is...hmm...that people should stop being evil devil-spawn and let me swim naked in peace.

7.11.2004

I thought you kids might like to see the pictures I took in Monroe, Michigan.

I really wish my hair wasn't blowing in my face in that last picture. Anyway, that's Jeannie's house. This whole endeavor made me realize just how easy it is to stalk people. I marched into a gas station, asked for a phonebook, looked up Jeannie's address, and asked the gas station attendant for directions. Jeannie's neighbor lady didn't even ask us any questions when we started taking pictures of the house.

7.10.2004

It's Lauren's birthday!!! Happy Birthday Lauren!

Speaking of Lauren and her birthday, LJ had quite the interesting one this time. Let's just say that her sheets probably don't smell too nice right now since they're soaked in Lauren-Vom...and...yeah. That's all I'm sayin about THAT.

7.09.2004

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAUREN!!!

I tried to call you three different times to tell you that in person (or, as "in person" as a phone call can be), but you didn't answer. And your voice mail is stupid and keeps telling me that "This subscriber is unable to receive messages at this time." How lame. Anyway...maybe I'll try again later. We'll see.

I was recently made aware that I have the ability to crush souls with a single glance. Apparently Rita was very alarmed the night of the encounter with the Magical Indian, because she told Justin all about my soul-crushing stare. I didn't really believe him, but he says it's true. He says I've never used it on him (which is good, because I want my husband's soul intact) but he has witnessed me use it on others. I've decided that it's swell to be able to destroy people merely by looking at them. I'm still not sure it's true, but it may be why people have labeled me "scary" in the past.

We had a meeting at work today. First of all, it was at 3:00 in the afternoon, which when you work the night shift is the equivalent of 3:00 in the morning. Secondly, we're leaving in a few weeks and I don't care about anything they have to tell me. The meeting was mostly about the things we're doing wrong and the fact that the hotel is making less money than it did last year at this time. If they want to know why they aren't making money they can start with the facts that the hotel is a shithole, it's in a shitty location, and gas prices give traveling the same appeal as being raped up the asspipe. They're remodeling, which is good, but they also need to fire all the housekeepers and hire ones that actually clean the rooms. They also need to give the housekeepers more than 24 minutes to clean each room, athough according to my manager that is a generous amount of time as other franchises give their housekeepers 12 minutes to clean each room. They also made the brilliant request that we vacuum the lobby in the middle of the night. Seeing as how the people in the rooms next to the lobby would come down and beat me retarded, I don't think I'll be doing that. They asked if we would be coming back after we were done with school. That's exactly what I was planning on doing. I'm going to get my Master's degree in entomology and come back to work at the Quality Inn. That would be fabulous.

7.07.2004

Jon Stewart and his wife just had a baby, and what did they name it? Nathan Thomas Stewart.

Oh, and I have put my blog back online: http://ursalicious.blogspot.com/

I feel like a terrible cliché: I now have a cell phone and a dress I can't wear until I lose a few pounds. (At least it's not little and black.) What's happening to me?

7.06.2004

Hope everyone had a Happy 4th of July! This year we spent our 4th in Rapids. We saw Shaylyn Matthews (Gildenzoph) and her husband, Jared Matthews. She is very pregnant and due the day before my birthday! We also saw Lauren's exchange student, Venessa, along with tons of other crapids 'creatures.'

Jacob and his friend Joel rediscovered Sparkler Bombs. Jacob and his friends used to try to make these when they were younger. Well they finally worked! The internet suggested taping 80-100 sparklers together and then taping them to propane tanks. Luckily for me my husband decided to use only 6 and see what happened with JUST 6 of them here. The video doesn't really capture the rattling of the windows in the house we were at!

Sig just sent out the mail with the pics of Dan's kid - Ezekiel James, meaning that its a boy. Here are some thumbnails linking to the actual pics (I saved them on my file space)

7.03.2004

If you guys want a really great cartoon you should check out penny-arcade.com. This shit is Lisa-running-to-the-bathroom, me-in-a-pile-on-the-floor hilarious.

Wednesday night at work a guest came in and decided that he would use his American Indian magical healing powers to cure me of my cold. I was training in the girl who will take over my job once I leave for grad school, and I think this was her first wierdo.

Magical Indian: "You look sick."
Me: "Yeah, I have a cold."
Magical Indian: "You know what you do to get over it?"
Me: "Not much; I have to wait for the virus to run its course."
Magical Indian: "That's bullshit. You go to the north side of a lake and look for mint."
Me: "Oh?"
Magical Indian: "I'm an Indian. Chippewa. I can heal you."
Me: "uh-huh."
Magical Indian: "I have a healing aura. Here." (He reaches his hand out to me and grabs my hand, squeezing it for a few moments.) "There, see? All better."
Me: "Yeah, that's great."
Magical Indian: "You have to have a positive attitude. I don't think you have a very positive attitude."
Me: "Um..."

This guy also told us how if we are lost and starving in the woods the only animal we can eat raw is a porcupine. They are slow so you can club them with a stick. Then you tear the skin with your teeth, but make sure not to eat the guts. In case you guys are ever starving in the woods, this may save your life.

7.02.2004

Gah! the google banner up there has an ad that talks about allowing parents to choose the gender of their baby. The idea of that is just stupid! Other than wanting a healthy baby, people shouldn't expect their children to be anything. For instance, if my kids are gay, I won't give a damn, AT ALL. I don't care if I have a boy or a girl, or if s/he happens to be trangender. I might be concerned about some of the social risks for an intersexed kid, but I wouldn't try to change that kid, I'd just be prepared for teasing and whatnot.

Parent's have to take what they get, and as long as the kid is healthy, they shouldn't be disappointed with it ever.

Does anyone know if Dan had a boy or girl? It's hard to imagine him being married let alone being a father!

6.28.2004

Funny - we were in Oshkosh looking for a kitchen table and chairs and we picked up a copy of the Northwestern to check through the for sale items. Well guess who was on the front page?! Remember Molly McGrath from high school - totally stuck up whore - yeah she's our new Miss Wisconsin - gag me! The picture on the website doesn't open. She definitely looks a little on the anorexic side and I'm sure she's gotten some fake boobs - I don't remember her being that chesty. I've checked the Rapids Tribune online - but haven't found anything.

"I'd Rather Be A Whore Than An Academic" is an interesting article, even though it is filled with Marxist bullshit. http://eserver.org/bs/46/anonymous.html

Give a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life.

If I wasn't at work I would have collapsed into hilarity over that one.

6.27.2004

FYI: Rock and I are leaving for Concord/Boston tomorrow.

Good-bye, Rock. We'll miss you. See you at Christmas (maybe)...

If anyone wants anything from Pampered Chef - check out the website and email me an order, I'll write a check to cover and you can pay me back when I get you your order. I had an excellent show and Ranee made some Red, White & Blueberry pie and then some Mediterranean Salsa. It was a fun time!

I also upgraded my cell phone - Jacob bought a new one and I got his old one (which isn't exactly 'old') and we're selling my other one on Ebay - if anyone is interested in that let me know - it's a Motorola and I'm not really sure what the model is, but if you're interested I can find it out! The whole point being that I know have MoBlog service - it's a camera phone and the pictures I take will be posted HERE, on my MoBlog page. You can check the pictures out and write comments and everything!

The rent has been raised on our apartment by $20/month. Our pay, of course, has not been raised, making living here even more difficult. Let me first say that I don't have a problem with rich people. I have a problem with rich people that screw their employees. I edited this for sake of anonymity.

I found this weekly comic a while ago. I like it a lot. The message boards are ok too, they get clogged with jerks sometimes, but other times its just women and girls complaining about the things that pain them

Angry Little Girls

6.26.2004

I remember Lauren talking about her private blog and if we ever found it that we shouldn't tell her. Well, I never found it and I never looked for it because I know that some things are meant to not be known by anybody else, but my friend Matt just found my private blog and not only read it, but told me about it too. I have no idea how he found it, and I know that things on the internet can be found, but you shouldn't go looking for things like that anyway. Its so frustrating, now I have to transfer 9 months worth of anger to a new blog.

If you know how to transfer entries to another account, let me know because this is hard and I don't know if I will have to do it again.

6.25.2004

I must be getting my period, because everything is pissing me off. 'lil Ike looked at me funny and I called him a fuckmook, so...I'm warning you all to fuck off for 5-7 days.

I'm not sure I want to know what Dan's gonna do with a baby.

Nah...I think that, as long as he can figure out a way to feed the thing - and that might be a challenge for him - it'll be OK. The kid will be a little fucked up (or a LOT fucked up, as the case may be), but this baby thing will probably work out for him/them. (Emphasis on PROBABLY.) (I just realized something: Dan is part of a "them." Who ever would have guessed?)

You know what? I bet the baby is really cute. Hey - boy or girl? (And Lauren, I'm talking GENITALS here, not gender. I would have said "penis or vagina" but that seems so crude, especially in reference to an infant.)

Thanks for keeping us posted, Lauren. When he loses it at the supermarket, et cetera (insert other baby mishap clichés here), you'll have to keep us informed about THAT too. :)

Dan and his woman had their baby.. June 22nd, 1:46 am, c-section.

That's crazy. Dan has a BABY. What the hell is Dan going to do with a BABY?! Christ.

6.24.2004

There's a discussion on the email news list I'm a part of with my friends from college (Urs is on it too now, I think) about why women feel threatened by models and movie stars. It made me think, because I realized that I do feel somewhat threatened by them. I probably shouldn't, but I do. Our roommate doesn't understand why women compare themselves to models, but he doesn't understand how important it is for a woman to look good. This may all stem from a comment Justin made regarding models. He said, "Men don't necessarily have sex with models because they're hot. They have sex with models so they can tell all their friends they fucked a model." That pisses me off. I don't know where I'm going with this, other than I'm slightly upset and rambling. So.

6.23.2004

This weekend I found out that the guy who was principal at Immanuel Lutheran School when my sister, brother, and I all went there was arrested for sexual assault of a minor - which is a misdemeanor! He was talking about sex to his 11 year old neighbor BOY and the boy was so upset from the discussion the mom called the police on Mr. Charles L. Weiss! This doesn't surprise me as the guy would always be 'jingling change' in his pocket, rubbing his crotch against the podium in sexual ways - leaving the room after rubbing against the podium! The guy is a sick pervert and the Daily Tribune article made it seem like a total blow off and it was just a mother over reacting - that's crap because everyone who knows the guy knows what a sick pervert he is!!
Funny his initial court appearence is on July 12th - my 1 year anniversary :) What a sicko I hope he gets to go to jail and gets butt raped by big scarey biker guys tons of times. He'd probably like that, though! He's been principal at the school for a REALLY long time - before I even went there and that was in like 86 I think - who knows how many of these types of incidents occured in the past!
I had him for 6-8th grade math classes and his wife was my 3rd grade teacher - she still teaches there I think.

6.21.2004

Regarding "Political-Savvy" Madonna

As much as I love Madonna...and you all know I fucking DO...I don't see why her opinion should be the voice of God. Not that I don't feel George Bush is a moron, because I do and he is, but why should these goddamn celebrities' opinions be so important? They're CELEBRITIES, not political advisors. This annoys the shit out of me, because most of them don't have any clue what they're talking about. Yes, they're allowed an opinion and yes they're allowed to speak it, but why do we listen to anything they have to say? I mean, in reality, they live in la-la land. Madonna, for example, has about ten nannies raising her children, a butler, a driver, a chef, a billion housekeepers, etc. It's not like she's living in some sort of shithole and suffering, now is she? The reason I bring this up, is because she's a hypocrite. She wants better economic policies, I'm assuming, and takes an extremely left and liberal standpoint on things, but take a GLANCE at her current Reinvention Tour ticket prices as well as merchandising. It is nowhere near accessible for those of her fans that don't have much money, the prices are exorbinant. Therefore, she excludes a large part of her fanbase in order to...survey says....make extra money. Like she needs it. That's actually a money-savvy conservative action, isn't it? Moving on, she recently published a slew of children's books (which are very cliche, by the way) and made the comment after donating the money earned to a charity that the "selfless action" was "very difficult to do." Because as we know she just MIGHT run out of money...even more notable is the charity she *DID* donate to...one that seeks to provide Kaballah spirituality to children. Gee, that isn't agenda-driven. I guess I just don't agree that celebrities should exploit their fame in order to gain power and take over everything from singing to acting to writing to modeling to politics. I *am* a liberal and I *am* a huge Madonna fan, it's just that I'm tired of these celebrities getting so much credit for "speaking out" JUST BECAUSE they're famous. I mean, really, what does Madonna know about policy? Everything she does, and everything EVERY celebrity does and gets credit for, is based around their own personal agenda, just as it is with anyone else. So let's not start polishing that saint certificate yet.

GO SEE DODGEBALL RIGHT NOW!!! Jacob and I went to Oshkosh this past Friday to shop for stuff for our new and improved bedroom and we decided to go to opening night of Dodgeball. I've not laughed so hard in a very long time - frickin hilarious! Then Saturday night we were back in Rapids for Father's Day and we were going to take my in-laws to see Terminal with Tom Hanks in it, but of course crappy Rapids didn't have it in yet! When I asked the guy looked at me and was like, What movie?! So I just said um forget it! We watched Dodgeball again!! Holy crap - so darn funny - you all must see it - I'd even go a 3rd time it was so funny! It's totally Jacob and I's sense of humor kind of thing!

We went on another mini road trip today! Last week we went to Springfield, IL, to pick up a male Irish Setter Jacob's boss bought. The boss let us use his truck and paid for a nice hotel room for the night, so it wasn't all that bad, but the dog was so high strung and fricken annoying. This morning we headed for Iron Mountain, Michigan. We picked up the female Irish Setter for the male to knock up! I think it's crap that the male was $750 and the female was only $250! Sperm is that much better than the female who actually has to carry and give birth?! Anyways, it was a really pretty drive - Niagara, Wisconsin is so beautiful!